macK's Attic

AT LAST

2011-11-21T11:21:00.002+08:00

- Etta James -

Chirpy morning, don't you think? So what are you waiting for? Grab your Nikes and I'll race you to the field! Run, let's beat the yawning wind!

Yeah.

About that.

The subject of running.

The only ongoing race I'm relentlessly witnessing is of blisters rapturously popping on my fingertips. The new set of medication is doing its job just fine, but not without its adverse effect.

Lying here for the 5th week now, I just can't help but feel....

....helpless.

Helpless that it's my wedding day in a couple of weeks time. Helpless that I haven't been able to do much in preparing for the big day; zero experience under my (back-bracing) belt. For any bride-to-be, it's when the bouquet, the shoes, the something borrowed, something blue are sorted, tucked away safely, ready. A sixpence. That dress. THE dress.

I've come to terms with my being confined to bed is currently what's best. It means, no scouring for shoes, or dress, just yet. But, you know how it is. Inevitably, you can't stop but think about that last crucial tick in the must-do list.

Because, you see....

....at least....

AT LEAST....

there's something from that special day you can claim yours and yours only. Something one day you can speak of with pride: detailing with great care the softness of chiffon on your skin, the sweet smell of the lily in your hair, the bright sparkle of sequins and silky laces on your shoes.

Helpless.

Then, in my moment of sadness he comes,

"Cheer up", he says, "It's all going to be OK"

"At least....", he smiles,

....You have me."

And life, as Etta says, is like a song.

Love, has come along.

- image taken from Amy Simon's flickr

THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN'

2011-11-11T20:41:00.001+08:00

- Bob Dylan -

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. - Aaron Rose
Photo taken in Kota Kinabalu, October 2011

This photo came to mind this morning as I was lying down getting ready for my MRI, looking up at the ceiling where several light panels were displaying blue skies. As though I was looking at a tiny cropped section of this photo. Today is 11.11.11. My appointment was at 11 a.m. I was at the hospital.

Have you watched the movie Face Off? You know the scene where the little kid was listening to Olivia Newton-John's Somewhere Over The Rainbow on his earphones while everybody else was fiercely shooting away? It felt like the movie, staying still as much as I could, but I was listening to Jon Secada. 'Just another day' he sang.

Just another day.

********

Many months have passed since I last wrote. “Hello world” would sound rather pallid.

I'm back in Malaysia. Back to routine. Not exactly a transition that I was too excited about, and yet it didn't feel completely unnatural too.

And for those many months, I’ve seen the passing of many faces of prominence – Maathai, Steve (Yes, like the rest of the masses I’m delusionally on first name basis with this one), Ghadafi.

Times they are a changin', history unfoldin'.

The civil signing will be held one month from now. The Tayabalis will be here in KL for the first time. They'll be meeting my family for the first time. It'll be a weekend getaway together for us for the first time.

Happy days with strawberries and chocolate sprinkles. I think I'll manage.

EXTREME WAYS

2011-07-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

- Moby -

....outside Tent #5....

Perfect coloured me.

HERE COMES THE SUN

2011-07-05T22:17:00.002+08:00

- The Beatles -

....here comes the sun, and I say it's all right....

Mombasa, Kenya, June 2011

The adventures of the cicak!

For the benefit of you non-Malay speakers, I googled 'cicak' and delightfully found this.

I didn't expect to find more than a paragraph to describe a cicak, but I guess the great Ah Poh knows best.

LAND OF 1000 DANCES

2011-06-30T19:45:00.001+08:00

- Wilson Pickett -

....and the Maasai warrior sings

as the dhow sails home

MUMBAI THEME TUNE

2011-06-21T14:05:00.003+08:00

- A.R. Rahman -

I haven't blogged in this space for a while, I know. It's rather tricky when you are in the mercy of whatever bandwidth is available on the go and at the same time, there are other matters to attend to: calls and updates to folks back home, photo uploads, blog posts in the other website, catch ups with my reading, plans for the weekends....the fiancee may have caught the tummy bug and for a few days now has been feeling a tad under the weather so most of my attention is towards his well-being; making an appointment with the doctor, etc. etc. My sabbatical days are filled productively.

At 11 a.m. this morning I was still half asleep and I thought how in the world would I ever re-adjust to my pre-travel days, when at 7 a.m. I'd be at the door ready for work. Probably never but the idea of squeezing a little extra time at home every morning is nowadays more and more attractive.

It's cold here in Nairobi today, 18 degrees out. As I continue my duty on this gloomy day, I leave you with this photo.

The grinning lion, Ngorongoro Crater, June 2011

As sheepish as mine.

SUNBEAMS

2011-06-02T20:23:00.002+08:00

- UKO -

My days

begin

I steal a grin

in return a wink

The rustling of the tree

accompanying

this melody

My days

now

with you

SUMMER BREEZE

2011-06-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

- Seals & Croft -

....for Shaista....

....from the quaint tiny streets of Zanzibar....

See the curtains hanging in the window

In the evening on a Friday night

A little light a-shining through the window

Lets me know everything's alright

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

See the paper laying on the sidewalk

A little music from the house next door

So I walk on up to the door step

Through the screen and across the floor

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

Sweet days of summer, the jasmine's in bloom

July is dressed up and playing her tune

When I come home from a hard days work

And you're waiting there, not a care in the world

See the smile a-waiting in the kitchen

Food cooking and the plates for two

Feel the arms that reach out to hold me

In the evening when the day is through

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

Summer breeze makes me feel fine

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

2011-05-28T23:00:00.010+08:00

- The Beatles -

"So, are you ready for the dive today?"

"NO", she said, half asleep and rolled over in bed, ready to get back to sleep. It's 7.30 a.m.

"It's just another dive," she thought. But since it was going to be a while before they'd be out diving again (but they did 6 already!), she decided she might as well tag along. Besides, it's her buddy.

****

The sun was out but the swells were unforgiving. At least the motion sickness pills were working. There was quite an excitement throughout the boat ride as the captain carefully maneuvered out to sea to the Bwejuu reef. There's only a narrow passage where the boats are able to past the barrier reef safely. The boy, the girl and Sufi, the dive master, clung on tightly to the boat.

A sharp 'pssssssshhhhhhhhh' jolted everybody on the boat.

Her BCD unexpectedly disconnected from her tank. Sufi immediately came to fix the leak. She lost 50 bars from 200 bars of air. It meant that she may not be able to dive as long as the boy and Sufi. Sufi reassured everybody that everything's fine. She remained calm. They had the spare tank ready, but it was unnecessary.

Like any other day, it was paradise down below. The graceful manta rays, the masters of camouflage; the octupuses, the schools of fishes; big and small, the plethora of colours.

Her tank was down to 70 bars. He was wondering whether they should ascend by now.

A beautiful manta ray swam past them. Sufi was pulling her down to the ocean floor while the boy was trying to deflate her BCD.

"Oh, we're going to wait for the manta ray to pass again," she thought gleefully.

The boy took out a slate from his pocket and showed it to the girl. She was expecting the boy to write something about the manta ray but on it was already written....

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

She wanted to laugh with joy and amazement but she couldn't. She wrote back....

You bet

Now, where's my ring?!!!

"It was a bangle in my pocket - gone," he replied. The wooden African bangle must have floated away in the sea, and in the confusion all she managed to figure out from the sentence was 'goat'.

But it all didn't matter; bangle, gone, goat. The wooden African bangle now forever one with the mighty ocean. The moment became the sea's new treasure. The memory part of its mystery.

She was too happy. Those little things never matter.

On the boat they all had champagne.

That evening, she saw a shooting star, as she proudly wore a replacement bangle around her wrist.

....And they live happily ever after....

(That last line was deliberately stolen from another tale, but all tales should end that way, shouldn't it?)

BUNNY IN A BUNNY SUIT

2011-04-12T22:39:00.002+08:00

- Simone White -

Simply loving the time.

SOUTH AFRICA THROUGH MY EYES

2011-04-02T23:44:00.002+08:00

To be honest I don’t know what I think about South Africa. Even after 2 weeks.

I'm going to have to start with the things I see.

South Africa is about soaring mountains and crystal clear oceans. Vineyards and farmlands and mines stretch as far as the horizon. Driving around the countryside takes your breath away - you are in awe of the constant change of view around you. Game reserves are aplenty, you'll be given the rare opportunity to be in the company of elephants, rhinos, giraffes, zebras, hippos, kudus, elands, wildebeests and warthogs in the wild. In the cities, the roads are pristine and estates are just filled with beautiful houses with manicured lawns and you sip your wine out near the swimming pool and stare at the shadow of lavender swaying with the wind. Cashiers never fail to give you a big smile and greet you when you line up for your groceries. Everybody's friendly, everybody's warm.

Everybody seems to be happy. Living the life.

But a lot of times, that life is neatly hidden behind electric fences, barbed wires and thick metal grills. Drive a bit more and there'll be roads heavily potholed with signs that say 'Hijacking Hotspots - for the next 6 km’, nothing more so you just have to take your chances. Very cautiously, you continue driving and shanty towns slowly appear. You lock your doors because it's bloody dangerous. Hide everything. Never wind down the windows when you reach junctions - people come to try sell you trinkets, newspapers; others ask for food, money, or garbage. Never look people in the eyes. Never do anything. Sit put until the light goes green. Because that's what you're told to do.

There's just so much disparity around, so obvious that it's shameful to see. Poverty is prevalent within the black community. This amidst the vast richness of everything else. You will observe the many that are forced to walk for miles and miles to get anywhere because cheap public transport is scarce when 9 out of 10 private cars are only driven by the 10% population of whites - I counted. Whatever image the country's portrayed for, although still holds true to an extent, has deeply hurt it's own reputation and will continue so until things really change. Crime is real, but so is fear mongering – sadly, even among locals. Time will heal, time is needed to put South Africa's sad history behind her but from it too, to welcome and embrace her full potential, slowly, but surely emerging. Many are trying to make a difference for the better and that says a lot about the desire of her people.

All in all, I love the marvellous time I have in South Africa; the scenic tour around Cape Town, the quiet stay in the wine district of Stellenbosch and Franschhoek, the lovely wedding in the little place called The Moon and Sixpence, the exciting game drives in Thulani and Pilanesburg, the busy weeks in Johannesburg, most of all, the great people I meet.

But at times, my heart sinks.

Security is big business in the cities.

Kids coming home from school at the Malay Quarter in Cape Town.

A view of Cape Town from Table Mountain.

At a vineyard Stellenbosch.

Cape Agulhas, the southernmost tip of South Africa. The moment we first saw the ocean, Rizwan and I just stopped by the side of the road and sat there in silence. It was one of the most beautiful experiences.

Wildebeests in Pilanesburg Game Reserve

Before signing off, here's a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Little Jen back in Miri. Best wishes and good luck for the exam!

....taken from Sticky In Africa, Wed, Mar 30th 2011

SEE THE LIGHT

2011-03-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

- Green Day -

I am ready. I am packed, I have one foot out the door.

But I am not feeling too excited.

The 8.9 earthquake that struck the north-eastern part of Japan left me speechless as the images of the huge tsunami barrelling its way across the land and gobbling up everything in its path is being repeated endlessly on the telly. Both Wade and Sebastien in Tokyo have reported that they are fine to much relief. Japan is no stranger to earthquakes but this is said to be the worse, I continue to watch in horror. I was reminded of the tsunami that hit the Indian Ocean one Boxing Day in 2004, how helpless I felt but thankful at the same time.

This is the second major earthquake to hit in a matter of one month, the previous one brought Christchurch down to its knees.

Panic makes good TV and I am sure most people who deal with this deal with this calmly, orderly and to their ability yet I am humbled by the forces of nature.

BLUE BIKE

2011-03-05T00:04:00.002+08:00

- Michelle Featherstone -

....almost there, be ready....

'So jump on the handle bars and hold on tight

We'll steal away through the fields at night'

BEYOND THE DYING LIGHT

2011-02-27T17:12:00.001+08:00

- God Is An Astronaut -

....while I wait for the week to end....

Such a distraction, window panes.

EVERYTHING

2011-02-24T22:36:00.004+08:00

- Michael Buble -

Because everything has a little bit of you.

....Are you still imagining?

BEYOND THE SEA

2011-02-17T17:55:00.003+08:00

- Robbie Williams -

Hey stranger
Remember when?

MY FUNNY VALENTINE

2011-02-14T06:21:00.003+08:00

- Matt Giraud -

....each day is Valentine's Day....

My funny valentine

Sweet comic valentine

You make me smile with my heart

Don't change a hair for me

Not if you care for me

Stay little valentine
Stay....

HIDING

2011-02-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

- Meiko -

I don't know what to call this state I'm in. I feel like I'm in a big transparent plastic bubble all the time, I'm moving with time but I don't feel the interaction with anything around me. At the same time I'm nauseated as the bubble rolls and tumbles in its path. Like zorbing but without the fun.

Two weeks ago, my Dad's car got stolen, and last night, our house in Miri got broken into. The burglers waited for the right time to strike, the only evening that the house is unoccupied and they know what they're looking for. Fortunately Mom is a master in hiding things, the damage is minimal. The most valuable must be an antique Iban headgear and accessories she's been preciously keeping, handed down from generation to generation. But more importantly, nobody's hurt. I called her, I can sense her calm nerves faced with situations like this. It's amazing how she does that every time. When I asked her if she's OK, she said she's just fine and she just needs to go through everything to find out what else is missing. She doesn't waste time to mull around.

And yet, for me, something IS missing. The last week has been a blur. I sleep or am awake at odd hours. I'm in endless torpor. My first proper meal was Friday lunch. I don't know what I've been eating otherwise. Everything is falling in place beautifully but I'm not feeling it. Not as much as I should. Could it also be....guilt? Guilt that my Mom has to go through all that and I'm here, being on the other end of the spectrum, planets align for me?

I have to pry open and step out of this stupid bubble before I suffocate. The air is beginning to turn stale already.

I need my Swiss Army knife.

If only I can find it.

YOUR SONG

2011-02-10T16:56:00.002+08:00

- Elton John -

I hope you don't mind

that I put down in words

How wonderful life is

while you're in the world

- Elton John -

GULA GULA

2011-02-08T23:15:00.001+08:00

- Mari Boine -

Because Long Legs is not my middle name.

....Tower Bridge, London (Photo credit: Riz)

AWAN YANG TERPILU

2011-02-07T22:45:00.001+08:00

- Ning Baizura -

....fox and hounds....
....something & something....
....dreams and wishes....

Coming back. I'm truly not ready for any of it.

....sitting on the trolley at the airport waiting for Deb to pick me up, coffee cup as company....

Pink gerbera, I wish you full bloom.

Pink gerbera, I wish you love.

Pink gerbera, wait for my return.

I shall return.

C'EST SI BON

2011-01-27T00:44:00.000+08:00

- Janet Siedel -

I've been meaning to write. In fact, quite badly so. The day goes by and the next, and the next and the next and yesterday I've spent most of it in the shanny, down with the cold. Feeling a bit useless in bed, literally watching the tulips bloom in the vase. Then I remembered that I have postcards to send, so that left me occupied for a solid two hours, Winnie The Pooh stamps taste a hint of cloves or something. It could be that I was munching on Cadbury's all morning.

Just don't try to eat those little blue By Air Mail stickers. Trust me on this one.

Yeah, I'll write soon.

BETTER

2011-01-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

- Regina Spektor -

To Shaista, for a fun girls day out. There's no stopping by the rain nor the cold.

To Debra, for holding the fort back home. A teasing hello from the shy Cambridge sun.

THE ICE HOTEL

2011-01-15T19:04:00.001+08:00

- Stacey Kent -

....my early morn....

Biscotti.

HABANERA

2011-01-13T18:20:00.004+08:00

- The Muppets -

....Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me....

The best version of the Habanera. Nothing beats the rose action!

La la la la!

L’amour est un oiseau rebelle
Que nul ne peut apprivoiser,
Et c’est bien in vain qu’on l’appelle
S’il lui convient de refuser

Rien n’y fait, menace ou prière
L’un parle bien, l’autre se tait
Et c’est l’autre que je préfère
Il n’a rien dit mais il me plait

L’amour! L’amour! L’amour! L’amour!

L’amour est enfant de Bohême
Il n’a jamais jamais connu de loi
Si tou ne m’aimes pas, je t’aime
Si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!

Si tou ne m’aimes pas, si tou ne m’aimes pas, je t’aime
Mais si je t’aime, si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!

L’oiseau que tu croyais surprendere
Battit d’aile et s’envola
L’amour est loin, tu peux l’attendre
Tu ne l’attends pas, il est là

Tout atour de toi, vite vite
Il vient, s’en va, puis il revient
Tu crois le tenir, il t’evite
Tu crois l’eviter, il te tient

L’amour! L’amour! L’amour! L’amour!

L’amour est enfant de Bohême
Il n’a jamais jamais connu de loi
Si tou ne m’aimes pas, je t’aime
Si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!

Si tou ne m’aimes pas, si tou ne m’aimes pas, je t’aime
Mais si je t’aime, si je t’aime, prends garde à toi!

Love is a rebellious bird
that nobody can tame
and you call him quite in vain
if it suits him not to come

Nothing helps, neither threat nor prayer
One man talks well, the other's mum;
it's the other one that I prefer
He's silent but I like his looks

Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a gypsy's child
it has never, ever, known a law;
love me not, then I love you;
if I love you, you'd best beware!

The bird you thought you had caught
beat its wings and flew away ...
love stays away, you wait and wait;
when least expected, there it is!

All around you, swift, so swift
it comes, it goes, and then returns ...
you think you hold it fast, it flees
you think you're free, it holds you fast

Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a gypsy's child
it has never, ever, known a law;
love me not, then I love you;
if I love you, you'd best beware!

break

TRAVELS OF YOUR MIND

2011-01-11T19:48:00.001+08:00

- Janita -

I was going through some old photos. Something is wrong with my external storage so I was trying to salvage as many as I can. One of them is this.

My eyes affixed to an assembly of perfect parallels and perpendiculars, like a bug helplessly drawn towards the light. I stared for the longest of time before I took this shot.

Still need a bit of work to save the rest. :(

Here's a rare photo of me getting caught in action....I have no idea what's up with the freaky eyes. Looks like I was sneaking my way around for a good angle.

....photo credit: Kim

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RIGHT AS RAIN

2011-01-10T18:20:00.001+08:00

- Adele -

My dear friend,

I'm not quite sure why I'm so inclined to write this. In fact I was subconsciously writing this in my head while driving home. It doesn't say in the Life Saving Rules that you can't do so while driving does it?

I guess I'm so happy to see you talking about ~~relationships~~ THE relationship the way you do. I can feel the excitement in your voice even when it's just the silly conversations we had on the Communicator. I don't remember any of this behaviour, like....ever, so how do you expect me to possibly fathom such change! :)

Oooo....the young Alec Baldwin on TV! He looks so....thin!

Sorry, distracted there by his um....eyes.

Anyways, I hope you make the most of the next two days. After that, things may get a bit complicated, naturally, a lot of times unsure what to do or what comes next. But there'll be so much to look forward to, nothing but the most wonderful things. But only if you want to work on it and you must put effort in it, even if it's someone you've known all your life. I wish you the best.

If it makes you less scary, it can't be that bad eh?

(Hey, Sheryl Crow!)

Hugs-lah

p.s. I know you'll miss Ms Awesome Me but I expect to be kept posted on any development! :)

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SUNRISE IN ARIES

2011-01-01T14:10:00.078+08:00

- God Is An Astronaut -

I am definitely not ready for the one week break to conclude so abruptly. Here I am sitting at home in Kuala Lumpur, wondering if it was Christmas week at all. Let this next two weeks sail past....FAST, so my eyes can stop twitching to the Wondergirls.

Mom has slowly accepted the fact that I’ll be away for a while this year, running around in unknown territory, out of choice. She’s got a new Gmail and Skype account for us to keep in contact throughout.

She almost got a heart attack when she was first presented the idea.

I bought her an atlas recently. She’s planned to mark all the places that I’m visiting – plus the places she’s been to. To date, the number of countries she's visited far exceeds what I can embarrassedly brag about for myself. Seriously.

What am I talking about? You may have heard about my grand Round The World trip, where I'll be off on a sabbatical for six months starting March this year to travel, well, around the world. But the itinerary has changed since, now I'll be travelling throughout Africa and make my way up north to Eastern Europe. Not a full loop as originally planned but no less exciting.

To follow me in my journey, check out Sticky In Africa. This is where I (try to) record everything from information to links to musings of the day. Spread the word. Drop a line. Share a tip.

I'll need the company :)

TURN! TURN! TURN! (TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON)

2010-12-30T22:27:00.006+08:00

- The Byrds -

....to you who've been part of it....

Here's to an awesome 2011!

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BLUE SKIES

2010-12-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

- Ella Fitzgerald -

You know how things can be morbid chaos and a tangled mess outside but you can come home all snuggled up in bed cozy and nice?

Hold that thought.

For there are many never given such choice.

Blue skies smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies do I see

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HAPPY DAYS

2010-12-27T21:34:00.001+08:00

- Pratt & McClain -

Just

another day

the office

:)

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NO CHRISTMAS FOR ME

2010-12-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

- Zee Avi -

....a fun song by Miri born Zee Avi. Also check out her self-titled debut album released in 2009....

Two days to Christmas and I'm still waiting outside
Wishing upon a star that you'll be coming home tonight
But it was cold, it was getting late
Sadly, I crept back into bed
But then I felt a soft kiss on my cheek
I opened my eyes, and there my baby was….
With me

My baby came back for me
Merry Christmas, baby

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SILENT NIGHT

2010-12-23T23:35:00.011+08:00

....the night before the night before Christmas....

Eyes lit
the pure delight
Tears
of sadness not

The return
the unexpected presence
the silent embrace

Unspoken words
telling me

I am home

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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU

2010-12-23T23:02:00.016+08:00

- Mariah Carey -

Did I tell you about the surprise gone wrong?

I think it was Independence Day weekend and I flew back to Miri to surprise my Mom, she wasn't expecting me. So there I was standing jovially and patiently in front of the gate, waiting for Mom to open it. Several minutes passed and still no sign of anybody, not even a shadow through the glass door and windows. That's when Jen from next door came out informing me that nobody's home. I called Mom and she was in Bintulu, a good 3 hours away! I laughed at myself, Mom laughed at me, saying how silly I was. Lucky my friends were willing to hang out with me another few hours. Needless to say, there were no more surprises of the sort ever again, at least not with Mom. Until today.

....KL Sentral 23.12.2010....

Debra missed her flight last Saturday and she told Mom that she won't make it for Christmas. But she actually booked the same flight as me and we purposely didn't tell Mom Deb's coming home. Mom's expecting some random backpacker to spend Christmas with us.

When Deb appeared Mom didn't think it was funny at first.

Few minutes later we were sipping tea.

There aren't any presents this year, no Christmas tree, this is the time we'll just be chilling out and catching up.

Then there'll be time to spend with friends.

There'll be time for frisbee at the beach.

Time with Little Jen next door (who's of course not little anymore)

Time to reflect on a pretty awesome year.

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I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

2010-12-22T23:18:00.005+08:00

- Bing Crosby -

Tomorrow.

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BABY

2010-12-20T21:24:00.003+08:00

- Justin Bieber -

The known secret to how Justin Bieber beat Wikileaks as the trending topic on Twitter.

Young man and his hair. So what are you waiting for?

....taken from Dilbert.com

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THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU

2010-12-19T19:21:00.003+08:00

- Nat King Cole -

....not so many Sundays more....

The very thought of you and I forget to do
The little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a king
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love

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O CHRISTMAS TREE

2010-12-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

....Ach Tannenbaum, ach Tannenbaum, du bist ein edler Zweig! Du grünest uns den Winter, die liebe Sommerzeit....

....O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree! How are thy leaves so verdant! Not only in the summertime, But even in winter is thy prime....

What mischief are you up to today?

Don't forget the most important part.

Laugh hard.

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WHAT IS LOVE

2010-12-16T18:57:00.001+08:00

- Haddaway -

So what is the conventional meaning of love?

Love me, love me not.
Let the flower decide.

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CREEP

2010-12-15T23:22:00.001+08:00

- TLC -

Lines face West
rectangle windows

Make haste
Dream joy on the morrow

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EMPTY

2010-12-13T06:58:00.002+08:00

- The Click Five -

Is anybody there?

....photo taken at the Selasar Sunaryo Art Space, Bandung, Indonesia - Dec 2010

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MISS YOU LOVE

2010-12-12T17:12:00.004+08:00

- Silverchair -

These sporadic bursts of melancholy bothers me a bit, I won't lie. I'm nauseated by the pirouettes of emotions in my mind.

I wish you didn't have to go but today had to come. The heart is heavy now that you're nowhere in sight. Then the heart leaps with joy by the thought of seeing your face again.

So much that I miss and you barely left. The comfort of your hugs, the cheekiness of your smile, the warmth of your fingers in my hair. The (confusing) daily cricket updates, the white~~bored~~board sessions, the manic adventures.

....My dear, sleep soundly tonight.

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RUNNING ON FAITH

2010-12-03T19:21:00.000+08:00

- Eric Clapton -

On the express train to the airport....

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THIS YEAR

2010-12-01T20:23:00.003+08:00

- Chantal Kraviazuk -

December. Time for another one of these?

Set The Fire To The Third Bar

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TINY VESSELS

2010-11-27T20:01:00.003+08:00

- Death Cab For Cutie -

....Tangkuban Perahu, Bandung, Indonesia (Nov 2010)

Mother Nature: 1, Nike: 0

There goes my last pair of trainers.

Photo credit: Riz

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SECRETS

2010-11-24T19:56:00.005+08:00

- Alexa Woodward -

....I met you when I was wanderin'....

It's been many worlds since then.

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AN EARLY DREAM

2010-11-21T19:40:00.001+08:00

- Alexa Woodward -

Except for a handful, they're all telling me to sleep on it.

I slept on it and decided.

Long before this conversation began.

It's obvious what comes next, no?

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POCKETFUL OF SUNSHINE

2010-11-20T22:25:00.002+08:00

- Natasha Bedingfield -

....step forward....

3 months since our last breakfast, finally we met up again.

And I received the most wonderful news :) I am elated.

Back at the gym I bravely piled on 10 kilos today for my squats in Pump, I felt like a champion considering a proper session happened eons ago (mind you those days I was at the gym by 6.50 a.m., I reiterate A.M.)! But the Warrior Poses in Dynamic Flow killed me. That's when I realized I really have to get back to my Balance classes. I've lost so much strength in my legs I wobbled down the stairs after the sessions.

We had risotto for dinner, courtesy of Ki Chul. This is what I love about having random strangers in the house - make-up artists magically transforming into exceptional cooks.

Right now I am packing for my 2-week trip to Bandung. I'm too used to packing a small backpack only a few hours before I fly. This time I included my trainers, my gym clothes, jeans, books, crap that I don't normally bother bringing. But the place is proper so I might as well make the most out of it. It's gym every day *crosses fingers*.

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BLACK AND BLUE

2010-11-18T22:29:00.002+08:00

- The Czars -

....the Terry Fox Run Kuala Lumpur 7th November 2010....

If only I didn't have to ~~run~~ walk alone.

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POLLY

2010-11-16T19:10:00.000+08:00

- Nirvana -

The doctor gave me a clean bill of health. Another follow-up in 3 weeks. All the while I'm thinking, "Man, she can talk fast!"

She's developing an iPhone Apps (iPhone junkies, is that what you call it?) to capture your medical record including vaccinations (with reminders for your next shot!), due out this Christmas.

Worth checking out, and not just because I like her :)

p.s. I ~~think I~~ need a new phone.

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WIDE OPEN SPACES

2010-11-15T22:02:00.004+08:00

- Dixie Chicks -

....at the old government quarters with a yard that became my playground....

The prickly grass
wet from the morning dew

The grass under an old tyre swing
the old tyre swing under a shy shady tree
the shy shady tree under an open blue canvas
a calling of vast nothingness

The clouds
the great shape shifters

The clouds lift me
and I swing higher

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SLOW

2010-11-03T19:32:00.004+08:00

- Rumer -

....Rumer has it....

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That I want the album.

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SUNRISE

2010-11-02T19:07:00.000+08:00

- Norah Jones -

....I'm happy behind the camera because....

This.

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DOGS IN THE YARD

2010-11-01T18:59:00.000+08:00

- Paul McCrane -

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Legendary.

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RUSSIAN WALTZ

2010-10-31T08:17:00.003+08:00

- Dmitri Shostakovich -

8.17 a.m. and the house is empty. They've all gone to church. I am home, still recovering. The car won't fit 6 of us anyway. My head's pounding, not because of the meds I'm taking, nor is it the flu anymore, but this deafening silence. Because of that, everything else is amplified: the wailing siren, the kick-start of a motorbike, the constant ringing of a bell of some sort (what is that?!), the splashing of water down below (somebody's trying to give a hippo a bath methinks), heck, for once there, I think I can even smell cologne.

I wish I could go hang out last night, after all, it's Halloween. But I didn't want to push it.

I wish I'm at the hills right now. But I don't want to push it.

I get sick too many times this year.

Then I read a note from Scott. Melancholy seems to be the theme of the day.

Thank goodness for Happy Tree Friends!

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JEZZEBELLE

2010-10-29T22:17:00.007+08:00

- Too Phat -

That Thursday morning I was up by 4 a.m. For the second time in a row. I almost had everything packed the night before and yet I forgot my hat. Sun lotion. No hat. Genius.

I drove myself to KL Sentral to catch the bus to LCCT. I asked Deb to wait for me just in case the buses are full. Luckily I managed to get a seat and the bus won’t be leaving for the next 15 minutes. I had time to kill. Then I realized I forgot my earphones. Double genius. No McDonald’s cone sundae, I sat there hoping to catch some sleep. I actually did, on and off, when the bus wasn’t trying to turn a sharp corner.

The flight was smooth. I had my coffee and that was enough to keep me happy. As I walked out of the airport, I scanned the airport lobby for Song. He said he’ll be waiting for me with a piece of paper with my name on it, but I never saw it. I quickly called him and there he is amongst the many tuk tuk drivers waiting for their customers. I shook hands with Song (force of habit), forgetting that they greet people slightly different in Cambodia, I hoped he didn’t mind. On the way to Tara, where I’ll be staying for the next 3 days, I let the breeze run through my fingers and my red scarf blowing in the wind. It sure feels like being in a 60s movie, driving around in an old convertible. What I didn’t have is a pair of Jackie O sunglasses.

The welcome drink in Tara is lemongrass tea, I love that stuff. In fact everything smells of fresh lemongrass.

Then Rizwan showed up. A face I hadn’t seen for….less than 24 hours.

The room wasn’t ready so we decided to go for a bit of sight seeing and we decided on Kampung Pluk. It’s a village just about an hour out of Siem Riep and to get there you’ll need to take a boat. It’s USD30 per head for the half hour boat ride.

The houses on Kampung Pluk are built on high stilts. During the wet season the road is submerged underwater and the villagers get around by small boats. There are places very similar to this especially in East Malaysia, the only possible difference is that Siem Riep is just flat land as far as the eyes can see. We had to cut short our trip and head back to Tara, for the rest of the day, I slept with the TV on, while Rizwan left for a meeting.

The next day was another early morning. By 5 a.m. we were on our way to Angkor. We were (well, maybe I was) adamant to catch the sunrise. The crowd kept coming and I guess that took away a little bit of the excitement. It wasn’t the best sunrise, but I have absolutely no complaint about the company. That morning Rizwan and I just walked around Angkor Wat, for most part it was just the two of us. Where the crowd disappeared to bewilders us still. It was quiet, it was beautiful and the sun was just coming up. I especially love how the early morning light penetrates lazily through the temple cracks. To think it’s been doing that for centuries now, and to think how many have actually gazed out through those same stone openings, is just beyond captivating.

Then we said goodbye, temporarily, to have breakfast back at Tara and nap. We were back at Angkor later that afternoon, until sunset. We stopped by at the local funfair on the way back. It was so colourful and vibrant. We played a round of shoot the balloons each and won prizes. We let Song choose one for his children, and he picked a lovely doll for his daughter. What I found cool were the mats they laid out along the road near the food stalls. What you can do is pay a small fee to sit and enjoy your food there, out in the open and equipped only with a candle. Back to Tara after that. End of Day 2.

The last day was spent wandering around the streets of Siem Riep, trying out the food, just a chilled out day, taking more photos. We had lunch at Khmer Kitchen and dessert at the Blue Pumpkin – simply awesome! We maximized our time before the long bus ride to Phnom Penh the next morning, where I’d be catching my flight back to Kuala Lumpur. We ended the evening by attending the Beatacello concert and drinks in town.

I hate when trips like this feel like it goes by too quick, this one was no exception. But that was outweighed by how everything falls in place nicely. The flight back was bumpy, but all I see is the slow transformation of light to darkness, aptly marking the end of my journey, and I can’t wait to embark on a new one.

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CAN'T BREAK HER

2010-10-26T21:42:00.005+08:00

- Mat Kearney -

There she once stood majestically. A guardian of modernization.

Battered by the sands of time, abandoned, neglected, replaced, she is still a beauty to behold.

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RAEIN

2010-10-25T12:42:00.002+08:00

- Olafur Arnalds -

Next on the agenda!

http://www.atvadventurepark.com/

Are you game?

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THE LITTLE THINGS

2010-10-24T22:14:00.005+08:00

- Colbie Caillat -

....the kingdom that is Cambodia....

What I'll probably remember most about Siem Riep: -

1. The little caterpillar of lights that is the tuk tuks making a beeline towards Angkor Wat before sunrise.

2. The one monster resembling a white dude that's creating unnecessary havoc in the swimming pool. Still giving me laughing spasms.

3. Endless hours of (much needed) sleep.

4. Khanta Bhopa (I do have a soft spot for kids....and old Swiss doctors with funny hair who not only dare to dream but keep that dream alive)

5. That smile. That smile I'm going to miss for a while....

I'll write more about Cambodia, once I get them 1,000,000 photos sorted!

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LOVELIER THAN YOU

2010-10-11T23:17:00.003+08:00

- B.o.B -

....happy tune!....

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BUTTERFLY

2010-10-08T19:39:00.001+08:00

- India Arie -

Call me Dude when we're 50 but never stop.

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PIRATE JENNY

2010-10-05T23:44:00.001+08:00

- Nina Simone -

Shoe store. Mischief. Shoes out of stock anyway.

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PEOPLE GET READY

2010-10-04T20:04:00.001+08:00

- Eva Cassidy -

It went pretty well....

The Friday, the Saturday, the Sunday :)

I think Al-E agrees too.

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FEEL AGAIN

2010-09-24T12:02:00.001+08:00

- Taio Cruz -

His name is Denis, with one 'N'
And he's Portuguese, 'Not the menace' he explains
A new face warm and friendly
I see now quite aplenty
The new guard at the tower
A twinkle in his eye although he stands there every hour
Never complaning
Just good morning, good morning, goodbye and good morning
I forgot your name
But good morning just the same
It's OK because I remember this
Your name is Denis
And you make my day....

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SEASONS CHANGE

2010-09-23T22:36:00.006+08:00

- Corinne Bailey Ray -

....because tomorrow's the last for the season. But the next season will soon be here....

Good luck Billy.
(Billy's being transferred to another location on a new job role. There goes my very dedicated breakfast buddy, a distracter at work whenever I need one and above all, my Chuckie half. But the weekend missions will hopefully continue)break

GOOD FEELING

2010-09-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

- Violent Femmes -

I told her. She approves :)

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PARIS NIGHTS / NEW YORK MORNINGS

2010-09-20T18:54:00.005+08:00

- Corrine Bailey Rae -

....start a story....

Once upon a time there was a field
Full of daffodils
With small teeth
And big eyes not like mine
The eyes freaked out a little boy
Who lived in a tree at the edge of the field
The grasshopper was cross because of the commotion and spilled tea
Angelina, Angelina, Angelina, Angelina
You gotta keep with the flow
Tsk tsk Angelina these days
What's the fun in that I said
Don't make 'em like they used to
You can go crazy with the flow
But it has to have a flow
Otherwise we just keep making random sentences
Follow the flow and there'll be no surprises
Like the boy nearly stepped on a grasshopper who got cross
And then bit the little boy's ankle
Injecting venom
This was a special grasshopper
Its mother was a cobra
Feel the flow
Like Happy Gilmore

Maybe I'm not Happy Gilmore
But I'm happy to watch....

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IT'S GREAT WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER

2010-09-18T13:49:00.002+08:00

- Finley Quaye -

....To Klevin....

Happy birthday darling dear
September's here, another year
Happy birthday I sing to you
Make a wish may it come true
Shine today like the stars above
Hugs, kisses and all my love

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WHEN YOU KNOW

2010-09-16T21:38:00.001+08:00

- Shawn Colvin -

....author unknown, taken at KLPac, Kuala Lumpur....

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18TH FLOOR BALCONY

2010-09-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

- Blue October -

I was gingerly flipping through The Bunny Suicides in between muffled giggles and unashamed outbursts of laughter when Riz handed over Fahrenheit 451.

'Here. I think you'll like it'

Cleverly written paradoxical, futuristic, visionary representation of the society and mass paranoia. I haven't indulge myself in this genre for a long, long time.

I dig it. Although I have to say it's a good thing I chose the graphic novel. Highly recommended.

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YOU ARE THERE

2010-09-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

- Stacey Kent -

....side, back, rock, step. 1, 2, 3, 4....

"It's you. I want to dance with you."

The sensation of the cool hardwood floor under my feet and Frank Sinatra in my ears.

We'll get there.

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BEAUTY IN THE WORLD

2010-09-07T09:59:00.005+08:00

- Macy Gray -

....my no nonsense friend and me....

Kanchanaburi
Pina coladas, a read and eye candy
Shall we?

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MOONRIVER

2010-09-06T23:45:00.001+08:00

- Audrey Hepburn -

....see you soon, Scott, after you're done saving the world....

Moon River
Wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker
You heart breaker
Wherever you're going
I'm going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end
Waiting 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon River and me

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ONE FINE DAY

2010-09-05T19:46:00.000+08:00

- Natalie Merchant -

....onwards!....

It's time

Clean slate

Leave the games behind

Embark on a real journey

Embrace

It will come

Today, tomorrow

Another moon

But it will come

You will come

To me

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TRAMPLED UNDER FOOT

2010-09-04T23:36:00.004+08:00

- Led Zeppelin -

....down at the rapids....

Again.

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TRUE

2010-09-03T15:47:00.004+08:00

- Spandau Ballet -

The e-mail screams: Great MATTA fair is back!

Meh! I turned my super expensive ergonomically engineered chair around and lo and behold! The clearest of blue as far as the eyes can see. I've never seen, what more touched, snow but I bet it's as fascinating and pure as the clouds above. And the day I finally have snow between my fingers, I bet the feeling will just be as intense as it is....right about now.

"What are you looking at?"

"Just come here and see."

"See what?"

See what they ask. How do you explain beauty?

....

New incoming e-mail.

"Angie. FYI, I've approved it in the system. 13 Sept." - The Big Boss

I turned back to face the white and blue....and I'm done for the day. Happy.

Greetings from bright and sunny KL!

A

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TWENTY ZERO ONE

2010-09-02T10:17:00.000+08:00

- Jamiroquai -

I keep thinking about a few people I know.

Some I can't wait to see again :)

Some I'll see again today :D

Some I might never see ever again :(

....Compose mail....

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WHERE OR WHEN

2010-09-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

- Diana Krall -

Today she turns 23. My little sister.

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ALWAYS LOVE

2010-08-30T14:58:00.004+08:00

- Nada Surf -

Considering it's my Mom, it's very cool of her to accept the idea of random strangers living with us every now and then.

....Suzana, Scott and Sheri teaching / learning pick-up lines in Portuguese....

....Scott trying his pick-up lines....

....Big R is starving....

Key phrase: Cultural Exchange. Even then I didn't think she'd buy it. I was prepared to hear something along the lines of "Are you out of your freaking mind???!!!!") Instead she liked the concept!
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ALL THE WORLD (I TELL MYSELF)

2010-08-29T17:53:00.001+08:00

- Correatown -

....Nottingham Trent University, Class of 2010....

My sister, the graphic designer.

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SUMMER BREEZE

2010-08-28T16:48:00.001+08:00

- Seals & Croft / Jason Mraz -

....a first attempt....

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CALL THE POLICE

2010-08-08T03:40:00.003+08:00

- James Morrison -

I was just off Skype with Lowell, and yet I can't sleep. Insomnia taking control again.

3.29 a.m. What do I do?

This. My itinerary. Surprisingly and coincidently my dates turn out interesting.

And shopping for flights.

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SUNRISE IN ARIES

2010-08-07T17:57:00.002+08:00

- God Is An Astronaut -
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....Saturdays are nice when you let your imagination run wild....
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So Billy and I decided to hop on the Hop-On, Hop-Off.
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As it turns out, we liked it. The only times we hopped off was at Bukit Bintang (for some McDonald's breakfast, what else and buy a new set of guitar strings) and Independence Square (my 14 years in KL, I never set foot on the field, this is my first time....yes, I'm no more a Merdeka field virgin....hmmm....I wonder, will two people making out in the middle of the field be conspicuous even in the dead night).
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We had lunch in KLCC before deciding to check out the PC Fair next door.
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That's the worst decision you can make if you're not seriously considering buying anything.
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The day went great. Looking forward to another one.
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CARTWHEEL

2010-08-06T00:22:00.002+08:00

- Snow Patrol -

....sometimes you just know; and some things in life are worth fighting for; take a chance, take off your shoes and let yourself go!....

Chasing the dream or just plain uninspired?

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CAYMAN ISLANDS

2010-07-26T22:09:00.002+08:00

- Kings of Covenience -

....too much time left for me to think....

Through the alleyways
To cool off in the shadows
Then into the street
Following the water
There's a bearded man
Paddling in his canoe
Looks as if he has
come all the way from the Cayman Islands

These canals, it seems
They all go in circles
Places look the same
And we're the only difference
The wind is in your hair
It's covering my view
I'm holding on to you
On a bike we've hired until tomorrow

If only they could see
If only they had been here
They would understand
How someone could have chosen to go the length I've gone
To spend just one day riding
Holding on to you
I never thought it would be this clear

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1, 2, 3, 4

2010-07-15T23:17:00.002+08:00

- Plain White T's -

....what's the first song that's in your mind?....

Leo DiCaprio, Cillian Murphy, Marion Cotillard, Tom Berenger, Ken Watanabe, Joseph-Gordon Levitt, Ellen Page, Michael Caine.

Go watch and feel free to over-analyze.

Feel like watching What's Eating Gilbert Grape? again

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I GOT A FEELING-

2010-07-11T19:15:00.001+08:00

- Black Eyed Peas -

A 16-hour day for 4 days straight doing hard labour.

Yes, zombies we are. See proof below.

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BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

2010-07-09T23:08:00.002+08:00

- B.o.B -

Safe journey home, Dmitri.

XOXO

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SECRETS

2010-06-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

- One Republic -

"Destiny is the bridge you build to the one you love." - Old man in My Sassy Girl.

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I'M READY

2010-06-14T18:20:00.000+08:00

- Tracy Chapman -

I want to wake up and know where I'm going
Say I'm ready
Say I'm ready

I want to go where the rivers are overflowing and
I'll be ready
I'll be ready

I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me
I'm ready to let the rivers wash over me

If it's love flowing freely
I'm ready
I'm ready

If the waters can redeem me
I'm ready
I'm ready

I'm ready (I'm ready)
I'm ready (I'm ready)
I'm ready (to let the rivers wash over me)
I'm ready (I'm ready)

Save a place for me
Save a space for me
In your heart
In your heart

Save a place for me
Save a space for me

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FEELIN' KINDA SUNDAY

2010-06-09T16:20:00.001+08:00

- Nancy Sinatra -

Around the world in 80 days. Plan A.

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STRINGS

2010-06-05T23:11:00.002+08:00

- Sofa Surfers -

....Christmas in June....

We softly sang a Christmas song riding on the small boat up the river where the firelies surround us and the stars above us.

Perfect.

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SIGNS OF LIFE

2010-06-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

- Placebo -

....the Fling Bling is born....

Sweet, short and potent.

Dash of Boston, Russia and Japan.

Shaken, not stirred.

Seeking offers for free liquer to experiment, first one gets to sample.

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WORLD BEHIND MY WALL

2010-05-31T12:12:00.004+08:00

- Tokio Hotel -

Trust. Forgive. Accept. Believe.

(Or something else starting with the letter 'A')

....quoting Nil in his half stupor....

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MUMBAI THEME TUNE

2010-05-27T13:05:00.003+08:00

- A.R. Rahman -

....are you the ideal one?....

It says "Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, with 3 and 4 being the "ideal stools" especially the latter, as they are the easiest to pass, and 5–7 being further tending towards diarrhoea or urgency.

Fascinating, isn't it?....

Doctor gave a a clean bill of health, just need routine monitoring to detect any changes or abnormality :)

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MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE

2010-05-26T23:01:00.014+08:00

- Adele -

....there will be things that your doctor doesn't say that make you wonder....

My ultrasound started on a positive note until the doctor began pausing more frequently and squinting at the monitor, going back to the same locations, raising an eyebrow, then raising both, taking more snapshots and finally you detect a soft frown. When you start hearing him mutter words like 'Multiple' and 'Lost count' and 'Too many', you're beyond curiosity to take a peek at what he's looking at. Finally you see a nod and hear an almost inaudible sigh....

"It's normal for your age, but having so many is not common", i.e. that puts me under the high(er) risk category.

"You'll be talking to Dr. P tomorrow." I chatted with him for a while, smiled and thanked him.

Is it bad?

As of now, No. Just needs frequent monitoring. But I'll get details tomorrow.

Yup, that's today. Things happen as they should be. But this won't slow me down, no matter what the outcome may be, tomorrow at the doctor's, in the near future, or further down the road. Doesn't matter. Life is short and the one thing I could offer, I'll give whole-heartedly to anyone, I do not ask for anything in return. Just maybe sit with me once in a while, because I get bored too, and I don't mind conversations of any kind, be it of the weather :)

I decide I am not going to be overly discreet about this, nor will I be ashamed to tell it just the way it is. Perhaps others will listen, and others may learn.

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EMPIRE STATE OF MIND PART II

2010-05-26T12:22:00.006+08:00

- Alicia Keys -

....back to hosting! :)....
....poke, scan and check....
....song of the day: Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here....

What Are Fibroadenomas?
Fibroadenomas are one of the findings that can be seen on your mammogram. They are benign (not cancerous) breast tumors that are made of glandular and fibrous breast tissue. Fibroadenomas can occur alone, in groups or as a complex. If you have multiple or complex fibroadenomas, this may raise your risk of breast cancer slightly.

Can You Feel A Fibroadenoma?
While doing your regular breast self-exam, you may feel a breast fibroadenoma. These feel firm, round, smooth, rubbery, and are movable. They are so mobile that women sometimes refer to them as “breast mice” because they tend to run away from your fingers. A fibroadenoma may feel tender, especially right before your period, when it may swell due to hormonal changes.

What Sizes Are Fibroadenomas?
Fibroadenomas range in size from one to five cm, (0.39 inches to nearly two inches). Giant fibroadenomas can be the size of a small lemon, about 15 cm (5.9 inches).

What Do Fibroadenomas Look like on a Mammogram?
Fibroadenomas appear as round or oval smooth-edged masses. The outline of the mass will be clearly defined, not blurry. Sometimes they are accompanied by coarse calcifications. Fibroadenomas can look like cysts or a well-contained tumor.

How Can You Be Sure It Is a Fibroadenoma?
Your doctor or radiologist may send you to have an ultrasound study done. This is because a fibroadenoma will be easier to distinguish from other tissue, because of the way it responds to sound waves. It will appear as a dark area, with a definite outline, homogeneous, round or oval, and may have smooth-edged bumps. If the ultrasound doesn’t give a definite result, the next study may be an MRI (magnetic resonance image). The most conclusive test is a fine needle biopsy or a core needle biopsy, to get a sample of the cells for a pathologist to examine.

Treatment or Removal of Fibroadenomas
Since fibroadenomas are benign, treatment will vary depending on your diagnosis. If it is small, painless, remains the same size, and a biopsy shows no problems, you would not need further treatment, but may have follow-up ultrasounds. However, if it is large (more than three cm), painful, growing, or a biopsy results in atypical (very active) cells, you can have it surgically removed with a lumpectomy. If you qualify, you can have fibroadenomas removed with a laser ablation (using heat) or cryoablation (freezing). In-situ ablation of fibroadenomas can be done in-office, leaves tiny scars, and has fast recovery.

What Causes Fibroadenomas?
The exact cause of fibroadenomas is unknown. They seem to be influenced by estrogen, because they appear most often in premenopausal or pregnant women, or in women who are postmenopausal and taking HRT (hormone replacement therapy). Most fibroadenomas come and go during your menstrual cycle, when your hormone levels are changing.

When Do Fibroadenomas Appear?
These are most common in women who are from 15 to 30 years old and in pregnant women. Fibroadenomas occur in 10 percent of all women, but in 20 percent of African-American women. They are much less common in postmenopausal women, unless the women is on estrogen therapy. About 10 percent of all fibroadenomas will disappear over time, and twenty percent of them will recur. If they don’t disappear, they usually stop growing when they reach two or three cm.

....taken from About.com....

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VICAR STREET

2010-05-24T18:28:00.011+08:00

- Tord Gustavsen Trio -

As I sit in the waiting hall this morning, I can feel my palms sweaty. More than usual.

"It's nothing, it's really nothing."

I looked down on the floor and traced the sets of shoeprints.

For the first time in my life, I'm feeling fucking....scared. I won't even know the result for sure in the next few days.

And it hit me.

How alone I feel when I know I'm not.

How lonely I feel and I just don't understand the reason. Why.

....What's up with that? The mind is humming to Funkytown but the heart is aching so bad that it hurts. Hurt. You again. I don't need you right now.

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GOODBYE MILKY WAY

2010-05-24T17:31:00.002+08:00

- Enigma -

Shall I go, shall I stay
107 light years away
Many times, so many doubts
But no reason to talk about

Mission is over, mission is done
I will miss you, children of the sun
But it's time to go away
Goodbye milky way

For a better world without hate
Follow your heart, believe in fate
Only visions and the mind
Will guide you to the light

Mission is over mission is done
I will miss you children of the sun
But it's time to go away
Goodbye milky way

Mission is over, mission is done
I will miss you children of the sun
I go home until someday
I say goodbye, goodbye milky way

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AS MOSAS DA VILLANOVA

2010-05-24T17:09:00.008+08:00

- Coro Agrupacion Artistica Gallega -

I just couldn't help it :)

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....Taken from random spam from KC....

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