WHY NOT SMILE


Still a pile of boxes for me to open and unravel its almost forgotten content. My everyday stuff, my memories, little trinkets from the last 10 years or so.

So that’s what I did today. Armed with a small blade, I carefully cut along the sealing tapes and took out the neatly wrapped pieces inside. I wanted to get over it fast. Since my move, the boxes have been taking up space for two months now and I’ve been procrastinating.

My packing was previously done in haste. Some I just put aside until the movers did the job for me. Which I reckon was done quite satisfactorily.

So when a piece or two were finally revealed, they became somewhat mysteries from the past. I didn’t have any recollection whatsoever on how they came to my possession. Either my memory failed me once again, or I purposely brushed it aside as unimportant.

And then there were the notable ones.

Snail mails meticulously tied into a few bunch with brown ribbons.

A book.

Nothing much significant written in that book, except for two.

One is a list of things I want to do and achieve in my life.

The other was a journal entry, the only one, ....more of a letter that never got to the person it was addressed to. It was penned a few years back, detailing my frustration on that particular person, about trust, about how I couldn’t understand what was going on at that time. Trying to decide the best thing to do. After I’d written that and reading it that time, I remember telling myself how ridiculous I'd reacted; the only reason why the letter never got to see the light of day. That I should just forget about the incident, that it’s no big deal. I closed the book and put it aside, until today.

I was rendered speechless.

I realized that I knew it was destined to head for doom a long time ago. Should I decided to take action differently, sooner, things would never have been the same. I can imagine a hundred other good things that could otherwise be part of my life. And a hundred more of the bad.

But everything happens for a reason, people say. They’re unfortunate (or fortunate) events and lessons you must encounter to get to who you are today. Stronger maybe? But will I ever be?

As I’m driving today, I keep on thinking back about that little book. And it dawned on me.

Despite the consequences, I have no regrets. Finally, I have not a drop of anger in me anymore (I can bitch about it still, but that’s a different story).

I think I’m ready to move on.

Less expectation, more zest.

I hope I'm putting things in the right perspective.

break