NOT READY TO MAKE NICE

....home alone....


I packed my trusty notebook and head straight for Coffee Bean.

................

It’s been a few days since I last wrote. For the most part, I’ve just been plain lazy. Other than that, I’ve nothing much to say nowadays, although I’ve been thinking a lot about one very significant issue. And it has a lot to do with what’s been happening in my life.

Forgiveness.

Too many songs out there talk about forgiveness. Oh yes, to forgive is very easy. To me, I can do that whole-heartedly, no grudges with the drop of a hat. And true enough, forgetting is another thing. What I think the mind is trying to do is subconsciously and deliberately refuse to let go of things we’d rather forget as a reminder of how cruel people can be. So that we don’t take things too easy.

Here’s the thing, this time, there's a person I REFUSE to forgive. I don't give a damn. I may sound bitter but I just know that me forgiving didn't make any difference, and it probably won't. I'm tired of forgiving, at least in this case. Am I trying to prove a point? Am I attempting to show that I, for once can also be merciless enough if you push me to the limit?

For now, I know I'm contented with what I'm doing. It feels good to be mean.

Vengeance never felt so sweet.


Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say, time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets


I'm just not ready to make nice....